HOLY HUMOR
During these serious and troubled times, people of all faithsshould remember these four great religious truths:
1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's Chosen People.
2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of theChristian world.
4. Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor store.
GOOD SAMARITAN
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of theGood Samaritan.
She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on theroadside, all wounded and
bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I thinkI'd throw up."
DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah dida lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?"
"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just twoworms.
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorizeone of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the youngstersa month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task - but hejust couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get pastthe first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 infront of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, hestepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd,and that's all I need to know.
UNANSWERED PRAYER
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father alwayspaused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, sheasked him why.
"Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was soobservant of his messages. "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a goodsermon."
"How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked.
BEING THANKFUL
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So yourmother says your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What doesshe say?"
The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"
ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would blessevery family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). Forseveral weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say,"And all girls."
This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include thisclosing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli, why doyou always add the part about all girls?"
Her response, "Because everybody always finish their prayersby saying 'All Men'!
SAY A PRAYER
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at hisGrandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was beingserved. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.
"Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer." said hismother.
"I don't need to," the boy replied.
"Of course, you do "his mother insisted. "We alwayssay a prayer before eating at our house."
"That's at our house." Johnny explained. "But thisis Grandma's house and she knows how to cook.
